How to exercise soft leadership and delegate across teams, without overstepping.
When your role and team success depends on collaboration, not control, getting others to help isn’t about power, it’s about partnership and soft leadership.
Hello there, it’s Giuseppe here. Welcome to a new post from the Better Leadership newsletter.
For the past two years, I have been asked to lead a lean senior team, with the objective of steering key strategic projects across our company. The objective is to make our company services and processes evolve over time, given the constant change of the industry we’re in.
This brings us to the topic of today’s article: I’m not the direct manager of the people executing most of the work and adopting these changes, and that’s the point.
It’s not a problem; it’s the shape of leadership when you’re working on initiatives that cut across teams, systems, and org charts.
But here’s the challenge: You can’t simply assign work the way you would with your own team. You need to engage, align, and often influence people with just as many priorities as you - and no formal obligation to prioritize yours. This is really a hard concept to educate also people within my team on.
So, how do you ask your peers for real support without stepping on toes, slowing them down, or damaging the relationship?
So here’s the 5-steps process that I use when I need to delegate sideways, and get things done with people who don’t report to me.
#1. Only delegate what makes sense for them to own.
You can’t hand off just anything. Your peer might have to ask their team to reshuffle workloads, delay their own goals, or introduce something new into their roadmap. That means you need to be selective - and thoughtful.
Ask yourself:
Is this work aligned with their team’s goals or skill set?
Would owning this create efficiency or clarity for them, not just for me?
Could this make them look good, rather than like they’re doing me a favor?
If not, maybe it’s not theirs to own - or maybe you need to reshape the request. Delegation across only works when the value is mutual.
If, instead, you believe the answers to the previous three questions are some loud “Yes!”, but you encounter challenges in ownership, then it’s probably a matter of how this request has been framed.
#2. Frame requests as invitations, not assignments.
The language you might use with your own team - “I need you to take this on” - doesn’t land the same with peers. Instead, start with context:
“As we roll out this project, I want to make sure we’re avoiding duplication…” or “This work touches your team’s domain, and I’d love to explore how to approach it together…”
Then, signal that you see their strengths. Try:
“You’ve built some strong processes around this already - I think there’s a great foundation to build from.” or “Given your team’s experience, you’d probably handle this better than we could from scratch.”
The best requests feel like proposals, not impositions. You’re looking for co-ownership, and that starts with respect.
#3. Co-design the commitment.
Getting a “Yes” is the beginning, not the end. To make sure things actually move, align on:
What success looks like
What timeline works for them
How progress will be shared.
You don’t need a big project plan.
A few check-ins and shared docs go a long way:
“Would biweekly syncs help keep us both in the loop?”
“How about I draft a short recap after each milestone to keep things on track?”
When timing is critical, like a board deadline or launch window, be transparent:
“We require this by July 1st. If that’s a stretch, let’s find an option that works before we hit a wall later.”
And always write it down. A short recap email with clear roles and dates keeps everyone aligned, and avoids awkward reminders later.
#4. Handle pushback with curiosity, not pressure.
Sometimes the answer is “no”, or a vague version of it. That’s not the end of the conversation. If it’s a bandwidth issue, ask:
“What else is on your plate right now?”
Maybe you can adjust timing or do more of the legwork up front. If it’s about scope or ownership, go deeper:
“Which parts feel out of place for your team?”
This is where clarity helps. If you still believe their team is the best fit, you can say:
“I totally see your concerns. That said, your team’s already owning this process, bringing it elsewhere could add confusion.”
It’s not about pushing harder. It’s about staying open, then guiding the conversation toward a shared solution.
#5. Follow up without micromanaging.
You’re not the boss. But you are responsible. So instead of chasing updates (“Where’s this at?”), create space:
“Is there anything blocking progress that we can help with?”
“What would help move this forward faster on your side?”
If things go quiet, gently anchor to your agreement:
“We’d said we’d check in weekly, want to take a moment now to align?”
You’re not hovering. You’re partnering. Tones matter, and curiosity beats control.
If you’re leading company-wide initiatives, this is the new normal: driving impact without direct authority. Your results depend on your ability to engage peers, align priorities, and share ownership, even when no one has to help.
Delegating across isn’t about power. It’s about clarity, empathy, and structure. Done right, it builds trust, and lets everyone win.
If you’re navigating something like this now, I’d love to hear how it’s going. Feel free to share how you’ve managed cross-functional ownership, or what’s made it harder than expected.
As always, if you liked reading this post, I’d be grateful if you decided to share it with your coworkers, friends, and family, or leave a comment below.
Have a wonderful day or evening, and see you in the next post!